Episode #344: Pelvic Floor Breathing: How to Stop Gripping and Connect to Your Deep Core

breathing exercises core connections core exercises pelvic floor pelvic floor health Oct 27, 2026

Pelvic Floor Breathing: How to Stop Gripping and Connect to Your Deep Core

If you've ever tried to "turn on" your abs, glutes, or pelvic floor and ended up clenching everything, you're not alone. It's one of the most common things I see with clients, both at the studio and inside Core Rehab.

When we try to find a muscle, our brain tells us to try harder. So we grip. In this episode of the Core Connections Podcast, I walk you through the pelvic floor breathing practice I teach every client, and why going gentler can help you connect more deeply to your core.

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Click play above to listen, or keep reading for the highlights.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why trying harder often leads to gripping instead of deep core activation
What your deep core actually includes (it's more than your abs)
How to breathe into the back and sides of your ribs for better diaphragmatic breathing
The "close your eyes" trick that helps your body lead instead of your brain
Why 50% (or even 10%) effort can create a better connection
How this practice may ease low back tension and neck and shoulder tension

Episode timeline:

00:08 Why we grip when trying to find our muscles
00:43 When a glute squeeze helps
01:29 What your deep core includes
02:19 Activating without over-tightening
03:52 Breathing into your ribs and back
05:32 Close your eyes and let your body lead
05:59 Working inside the threshold of frustration
07:05 How your body talks to your brain
08:38 Why the body "cheats" movements
10:41 Going gentler with your breath
11:43 Pelvic floor widen and lift (the diamond)
12:33 Lifting stress off your neck and low back
14:17 The 50% and 10% rule
15:46 Breath plus 10–15 minutes of daily movement
16:44 A 30-second desk practice
19:18 Lifting weights without pain or leaking
20:12 Your nervous system and wrap-up

Why we grip (and why it's not your fault)

Sometimes a little glute squeeze is helpful in the beginning, especially if you're having a hard time finding your glutes. But we don't want to walk around squeezing all day.

Your body is really good at cheating movements. If your glutes or deep core aren't firing well, other areas step in to grip and grab. Over time, that can show up as back pain, neck pain, or pelvic floor dysfunction. It's not a willpower problem. It's your brain trying to protect you.

Across the board, I find women tend to be too restricted in the pelvis and pelvic floor. If you're wondering whether that's you, my post on 5 pelvic floor myths is a good place to start.

What is your deep core?

Your deep core is a connected system, not one muscle:

Your pelvic floor
Your transverse abdominis, which wraps around your midsection from your back
The fascia that wraps your organs
Your intercostal muscles, between your ribs
Your mid back, which I include because when women lightly activate it, they often feel their deep core more

Want to go deeper on fascia? Listen to Fascia & Pain: Why Less Intensity = Better Results.

How to breathe for pelvic floor and deep core connection

Try this lying on your back with your knees bent, in a pelvic tilt position. New to pelvic tilts? Start with my Pelvic Tilts with Hip Rolls tutorial. You can also practice sitting, standing, or even walking.

Inhale through your nose. Picture the breath moving down into your torso, out to the sides of your ribs, into your back, and all the way into your low back. This is 360 breathing, and it engages your diaphragm more than belly breathing alone.
Feel your pelvic floor widen. On the inhale, your pelvic floor should expand wide, never push downward.
Exhale gently through your mouth. Visualize the breath coming from deep in your pelvis. Picture that diamond of your pelvic floor gently drawing together, then lifting.
Notice the lift. You may feel a light lift up through the top of your head. That's your deep core lifting pressure off your pelvic floor and supporting your spine.

If your ribs tend to flare when you breathe, read How to Fix Rib Flare with Proper Breathing. And if you've been cued to flatten your back into the mat, check out Imprinting vs. Neutral Spine.

Close your eyes and let your body lead

Here's what I see again and again. I ask a client to close her eyes and breathe, and as soon as she starts to move, her eyes pop wide open. That's her brain trying to figure it out.

Far more signals travel from your body up to your brain than the other way around. When you close your eyes, you give your body room to lead. Clients soften almost immediately, and that's when tight areas start to unlock. [More on this in The Mind-Body Connection.]

The 50% rule (and sometimes the 10% rule)

Your brain will want to fight this. "Erica, if I go lighter, I don't feel anything." That's normal in the beginning.

Try making your exhale 50% gentler. You'll likely notice it gets longer, and you may feel your body gently activating and lengthening. Still gripping? Go as low as 10%. Sometimes we have to sit in that space of "nothing" to cross the bridge from old patterns to new ones.

This can take weeks or months to click, and that's okay. Awareness is always the first step. If you've been gripping because movement feels unsafe, How to Break Free from Painful Movement and Trust Your Body pairs well with this episode.

Why this matters for back pain, neck tension, and lifting

When you lift pressure off your pelvic floor, you also take stress off your low back and neck. Then you can layer movement on top, and every workout becomes more effective.

I'm all for women lifting weights. But if you're experiencing back pain, neck pain, or leaking, it may be a sign to back off the load for now while you build the foundation. My conversation with Lauren Carder on breath, bracing, and lifting goes deeper on this. For a strength session built on these principles, try my Pilates Strength Workout.

Try this today

Set a reminder to close your eyes for 30 seconds a few times a day, maybe at your desk. Breathe into your ribs. Exhale like it's coming from your pelvis. Feel the lift. That's it.

This practice can also help calm your nervous system and move you out of fight or flight. Episode #338 is a great follow-up if that's something you're working on.

Ready to build your foundation?

If you want guided, step-by-step support, start with my 5-Day Core & Pelvic Floor Reset. Over five days, you'll practice the breath and deep core foundations I teach my clients. [Confirm daily time commitment.]

Prefer to start free? Grab my Free Pelvic Floor Guide.

Instructors and coaches: learning to work with clients inside their threshold of frustration is a skill I teach in my Core Athletica® instructor courses.